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Crack Flashed October 7, 2008

Posted by Alichat in Humor, Life.
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Thursday I was crack flashed.  It’s not something you wish for….unless you’re a man apparently.  A fact I discovered after mentioning this incident to my male co-workers.  Disappointment all around the table after it was learned I had not quickly whipped out my cell phone to take a photo of the massive crack display.  It was in the lunch line at the cafeteria.  A loud clang, and all turn to see a woman, worthy of Sir Mix-a-Lot’s praises, bending over to pick up the item she’d dropped.  Voila!  CRACK FLASH!  And this wasn’t any little crack…..this was a good sized flash.  I could have packed my iPod in there and still had room for the cell phone.  How do you not know you’re displaying the Grand Canyon for all to see?  Don’t you feel a draft?  Can’t you feel the tickle of the tag on your pants as it slides over your crack?  Isn’t that supposed to be a sensitive area?  And, I hate asking this, but where were her panties?  Could we not afford a thong?  Even though our clothing stores, malls, online stores, boutiques, and thrift stores are packed with them, there are just those in this world that were not meant for low riders.  I am one of them, but not because my booty is bodacious, but because I have a wide, flat butt that doesn’t fit well into low-riders.  It’s just architecturally impossible.  It’s startling how many in this world don’t realize they have the same architectural handicap.  Forget stomach muffin…..nothing looks more frightening than cracked butt muffin top.

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Comments»

1. Kirsten - October 7, 2008

I know some folks like “goin’ commando”; but @ work unless you’re in jeans or other darkened pants….methinks underwear is required. %^]

2. Courtney - October 14, 2008

I too am disappointed that you didn’t whip out that cell phone — that would have made me feel better about myself for YEARS!


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